Some people save money for exotic vacations, new vehicles, remodeling the house, a boat maybe. Us? Not so much. Our last vacation fund went toward a new section of fence.

The latest “project” on which we will spend money we haven’t yet saved … a new septic system! Woo-hoo! Can you feel the excitement bouncing off the words?

We’ve tried, but it is hard to ignore certain plumbing issues. I picture Cousin Eddie in the Christmas Vacation movie. He is standing outside, in the nice suburb, hose running from the camper to the sewer system. He waves to the appalled neighbor. “$#itter’s full!!”

We have implemented temporary fixes and solutions, but have been informed the freezing ground this winter will not be kind to us. Our plumber mapped out three (X, Y and Z) unappealing, expensive options. I asked our stoic, quiet plumber what he would do if he had this situation. He replied, deadpan, “I’d have a fit.” I did what I usually do in these situations. Laugh. What else can you do? My husband was busy having the fit. He said he would use an outhouse before he did X or Y. I said, “I will not. Z it is.”

We looked over the yard. I was concerned about a dead tree, that needed to come down anyway, being in the way. No concerns. The wind blew it over the next day. Add one more project to our never-ending list of things-to-do-in-spare-time.

Our yard will soon be dug up. Unless we have an early winter. Then we will hope the porta-plumber-truck can accomodate our, uhm, issue this winter. Dirt must be hauled in to create the proper amount of drain pitch. You know how some people have Christmas card photos of the family on vacation at a sunny beach? I think our Christmas photo will have us standing on a pile of dirt in our chore boots.

I won’t be showing any of you a newly remodeled room or addition to the house, a garage or driving a new truck. However, when this is finished maybe you can come over and we’ll demonstrate how we can flush all three toilets at the same time, while someone is draining the bathtub and no gurgling occurs in the kitchen sink! What shall we call this party? Surprise Septic Party! BYO_?

Stay tuned. I’ll keep you poosted on the progress.