A special person should be celebrating his 50th birthday today. We were married almost 18 years when cancer claimed him. He was too young. It’s why I get irked when people whine about their birthdays. I say, “Be glad you are getting to celebrate!”
He gave me the two best gifts in the world; our sons. He also gave me the gift of his family that I still get to be part of … unlike in many divorces where that is lost . I got to “keep” my in-laws, nieces and nephews (and now get to watch my greats grow up!). They are a special family, indeed. They kept me around even when I remarried. Another gift that keeps giving. And a gift for which I am extremely grateful. I don’t say it out loud because I would end up a big, bawling mess … and we don’t need that. So, I write.
What I don’t know how to do, ever, is acknowledge these “special” dates. Flowers at the cemetery? For some people that helps. For me, it makes me feel worse.
That just isn’t where he is.
I “connect” in random places … the timber is a good one. Or to go to my son’s college’s parents’ weekend.
However, I can honestly say I never feel disconnected from Gary or my Dad. They are such a part of my person and my daily walk.
And so, I write my birthday thoughts.