I need my own little GPS-voice-person to help me.  You know, a personal-Siri.  If you haven’t seen or heard Siri in use, she is:

Siri (pronounced /ˈsɪri/):  an intelligent personal assistant and knowledge navigator which works as an application for Apple’s iOS.

Ask her a question and she talks to you over an iPhone.  I don’t have an iPhone … so maybe she could provide the help I need? But, I sort of doubt it…

My Siri needs to remind me that part of my dinner is still in the microwave … before dinner is over and I’m cleaning up the kitchen.  The other night while cleaning up, I noticed the microwave blinking “End” instead of the time.  “Oh geez,” I thought, “what did I leave in there this time?”  It was the corn.  Sometimes I find my coffee cup several hours later.  Sad … because coffee only needs to be warmed up for seconds … and my mind can’t stay with it that long.  Rarely, though, do I forget a warmed-up cinnamon roll or piece of pie.  Darn it.  Those are the items I need to forget.  I need my Siri to give a shout-out during the meal.  “HEY, Ding-bat!  Do you want your family to have their veggies or not?” Yes, I know, corn doesn’t really count as a veggie, either … but it was going to that night at my house.

Does an iPhone Siri remind its person to save the pictures it takes?  Yesterday, for my kids, I took an interesting picture of something I saw on my walk.  At the entrance of our beautiful park is a sign that says ‘No Speeding, No Alcohol’ … etc. and ‘Violators Will Be Prosecuted!’   Wellll…. draped over the sign was an opossum.  Dead, I presumed, but I didn’t poke him in case he was just playing ‘possum.  Evidently, the ‘possum was speeding &/or intoxicated and was thusly prosecuted for all to learn from his mistake(s).  Later, I wanted to show the picture to my son and send it to my other son at college.  I realized I hadn’t saved it.  😦  I needed someone to shout at me, “Don’t close that phone before you hit ‘Save’!!”  My Siri would have surely saved my warped picture that I knew my boys would enjoy.

My Siri would have to be very fast at “re-calculating” my route.  I could hear her as I head out the door to do chores.  “Feed Happy the donkey.”  “Almost to the barn.” “Re-calculating your route.” “Almost to the mail box.”  “Stopping to pull weeds.”  “Flowers need watered.”  “Picking up sticks from yard.” “Recalculating route.” “Don’t forget Happy.”  “Dogs and cats need fed, too.”  “Recalculating.”  “Take laundry from clothesline into house.”  “Check oven for that burnt aroma.”  “Open the windows.”  “Turn on some fans.”

Okay, maybe I don’t really want a Siri…

About Marla Rose

This blog documents our farm life in central Illinois with photographs, experiences, and a dash of cooking. Pour a cup of coffee and enjoy sharing part of our lives!
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4 Responses to Recalculating

  1. Susan says:

    This was hysterically funny! I, too, need a Siri (although I have an iPhone, it does NOT talk to me) and tonight I left the bacon… integral part of BLT’s in the microwave. Well, the Bears WERE in the midst of scoring.

  2. Oh my gosh! You really make me laugh! Not only because you are a great writer, but also because I think you must have a hidden video camera where you see all the crazy things I do and then pretend that they happened to you so I don’t feel bad. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in the world. 🙂

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