Sorry to break the news everyone, but I’m pretty sure that Santa Claus is a woman.

Case in point – making a list and checking it twice?  Woman.  We all know that there are times the quantity of gifts must come out the same and at other ages, the $$ of gifts must match.  A woman may have that list in her head, on paper, or in an Excel spreadsheet, but she’s got one.

What about the quiet factor?  Santa has to be quiet.  If he is anything like many of the men in my life, “quiet” is not in their vocabulary.  Case in point?  Christmas morning, Pig Farmer and I decided to each open one present that we got each other while the boys were still sleeping.  Pig Farmer bent down to retrieve the gift he wanted to bestow upon me, raised up … and banged into the mounted buck-on-the-wall, which made it fall upon the other presents and sent the cats scurrying and scattering out of the room.  It was not quiet.

I have doubts that a male has ever startled himself awake from near-sleep because he suddenly remembered that the Cool Whip needs moved from freezer to fridge in order to make a salad the next morning … or that he has replayed in his mind the ingredients/menu for all the family dinners he is preparing for … and then climbed out of his warm, winter’s bed to make sure he had everything.  Well, maybe Santa is a male … after all, he could be jolly because he is dreaming of eating the sugar plums not searching the internet for a recipe to make the darn things. Hmmm…